Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
The Washington Post’s Politics and Policy blog imagines what the Grove Park Inn’s brochure to lure President Obama and First Lady Michelle:
Here’s how we imagine the brochure might have looked as the First Couple flipped through possible vacation destinations:
EXCLUSIVE COUPLES WEEKEND GETAWAY!
Is the stress of ridding the world of nuclear weapons getting to you? Are you tired of solving the childhood obesity crisis? Do your nosy neighbors make your home feel like a fishbowl, especially when you take off in the helicopter?
Have we got the spot for you!
Leave the kids at home with grandma and come to the Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa — the perfect place to get away from foul-mouthed chiefs of staff, generals and their wars.
Tucked next to the legendary Blue Ridge Mountains, the resort features world-class amenities for those times when you don’t want to worry about whether the prime minister of India should be sitting next to the senator from Alabama at your next state dinner.
Let worries about your public image fall away while you enjoy a facial, massage or steam bath at our world-class spa. And for guests who can’t get enough time on the links, we offer the 32nd best golf course in the state of North Carolina.
Concerned about security? Don’t be. We take the privacy of our guests as seriously as the U.S. Secret Service. And the resort has plenty of conference rooms for that surprise summit or last-minute news conference, should the need arise (audio-visual equipment available for an extra fee).
Experience a getaway like no other, all at rates ranging from $195 to $1,250 per night (massive security cordons priced extra based on amount of discomfort offered to the other guests).
We were at Grove Park Inn for dinner at the Terrace Restauant on Friday evening and were not inconvienced at all. But I still don’t like Obama.