Jason Sandford
Jason Sandford is a reporter, writer, blogger and photographer interested in all things Asheville.
Sound the beer sirens! Asheville’s beer scene is under attack.
As part of Portland alt-weekly paper the Willamette Week‘s “President of Beers” series (drinking the “flagship craft beer” from every state in the Union to find which is home to the “President of Beers”), writer Martin Cizmar tasted an Asheville beer.
But not before imbibing deeply of a special brew of sour grapes.
Cizmar tasted, as Asheville’s “flagship craft beer,” a Highland Brewing Gaelic Ale (a beer rated as “exceptional” by BeerAdvocate.com).
From his review:
Fucking Asheville.
If you’re too into beer you might know about this stupid contest called “Beer City USA.” Essentially, a bunch of cubicle monkeys click-click-click on a list of cities purported to be capitals of craft beer. Mostly they vote for the city nearest their home or where they went to college. Portlanders have taken it seriously in the past and won. But now Ashville is now the perennial favorite, probably because there’s not much great beer in town to distract the dudes who vote in these things.
Asheville’s claim to fame? Being colonized by Sierra Nevada and New Belgium. Importing talent is the Tarheel way, after all. “Hell no, boys, we ain’t kin figure to make own beer—let alone an airplane—so let’s git us some Yankees to git ‘er done and we’ll go on a’claimin it fer a century!”
Mighty fine idea, y’all.
And his opinion of Asheville’s Beer City U.S.A. title won in an online poll:
The biggest problem with such a contest? Very few voters have any perspective. Do the people of Asheville sincerely believe their city to be a mecca of craft beer? Yes. Does that opinion matter? No, not that they know any better. Antiquated liquor laws and fat cat distributors make it tough to drink the best beers from around this country. Most of the people who voted for Asheville have probably never had Black Butte Porter, let alone Pliny the Elder. These Tarheels love their beer, and they think it’s great because it’s better than the pig swill the rest of the South is drinking.
Hard-won perspective—gained by actually trying beer from across the country—is tough to get. Just ask intern John Locanthi, who spent the better part of his summer bootlegging brew for the President of Beers. But Willamette Week got a beer from all 50 states. And here’s what happened: Asheville done got tore up. Bottom 10, y’all. The flagship beer from North Carolina’s largest brewery couldn’t even beat South Carolina a blind taste-test. Ouch.
Read the whole thing here.
I’m sure the comments are about to get awesome.
Thanks to the Beer City Guide for the heads up!
I fully support a serious beef between Asheville and Portland. I’m getting a station wagon full of stink bombs and paint balloons and heading to the Hawthorn District post-haste!
pssst, the best selling beer in Asheville isn’t Gaelic anymore…It’s Pisgah Pale Ale. And i’d be glad to put up to the haters
This guy touts Black Butte Porter, which is a damn fine beer…made in BEND not Portland. Its beer CITY not beer STATE, moron.
What a jerky-jerk.
Haters gonna hate. -=WL=-
Lovers gonna love. I’ve picked my side.
i refuse your dichotomies.
I agree that this annual poll is silly and pointless but somehow I get the sense that Cizmar didn’t think so when Portland was winning.
Sour hops?
I think this is pretty funny actually, and the writer is correct in pointing out that “Antiquated liquor laws and fat cat distributors make it tough to drink the best beers from around this country…” NC has some…interesting…laws when it comes to alcohol and distribution thereof..
Has this guy even tried a Portland brew? Black Butte by Deshcutes is based out of Bend, Pliny from Cali. Portland definitely has its share of schwill, but if you wanna get your face pierced or score some primo meth, than Portland is your town. Don’t hate because Asheville makes better beer with half the resources. No one likes a whiner.
In the immortal words of Daffy Duck “Tthissss means war!”
This guy just sounds angry. Something tells me he does not live the happiest of lives.
I’m guessing this guy is projecting some deep sense of inadequacy onto our beloved beer scene.
Meeeeeeeeeeeow!
Next time you’re in Portland, dumpster diving for food for your local beer party…in the shadow of a sign that celebrates the Lewis and Clark expedition–did they even pass through that barren wasteland of grunge stores, hipster shops and gentrification?
I ask you, to bring with you, a growler from the Wedge so that if you’re cornered by a plaid shirt wearing, Subaru driving, lumberjack beer drinker…you may introduce him to what can only be the nectar of gods–an Iron Rail.
I’m sure it’s a difficult pill to swallow that a town the size of Portland, can’t convince enough of its residents to step away from the Occupy movement encampment to vote for an online beer poll. But for Pete’s sake don’t demonstrate to us how shitty your rain soaked lives are…because we understand…we sympathize with you.
And on a side note while your Beer President types out his article under his makeshift presidential seal–we’ll be sure to salute our real ones on display the next time our President chooses to vacation here.
Perhaps the writers tongue was soiled by the dander from his 11,000 rescue cats….because there’s no beer in Asheville as bitter as this fellow.
Jealousy is not pretty. I’d love to know if he’s ever been to Asheville.
And Portland’s claims to fame are the Trail Blazers and Hello Larry, both of which are not there anymore