After a week filled with rabid coyotes, dead ducks and lesbians getting kicked to the curb by Wolf Laurel Ski Resort, WLOSers had a relatively tame report Wednesday.
Cherub Charu had a story about a dangerous curve on Emma’s Grove Road in Fairview still being a dangerous curve, mostly because people drive too frickin’ fast. But a teen died in a car wreck there, and one neighbor Charu talked to wanted something done. Charu took the case to the DOT, who said a new warning sign would be up in two weeks. But he said that only after highlighting the ridiculousness of the request – if DOT put signs up all over the place, motorists would just be more likely to ignore them; they’re costly; if you change the speed limit up and down for portions of roads, you’d have 20 different speed limits along a stretch of road.
People need to wise up and slow down.
WLOSers kept pumping up an alleged prison sex case. In their words, the second-in-command at Craggy Prison, a woman, had sex seven times with someone. The story never really said, but I’m assuming it was an inmate. WLOS interviewed a friend of the accused, who said he was shocked, that’s not her, that’s not her “mode of operandus,” he said. Puh-lease. If you don’t know Latin, don’t try to speak it.
In other run-of-the-mill news, Henderson County Sheriff George Erwin is leaving office early; that crazy coyote who bit three people did, in fact, have rabies; and some vandals were caught on video trying to break into a change machine at a car wash somewhere. Yawn.
Jon “Punnyman” Le spiced things up with a fun report about a group of unicycle riders at a Fairview middle school. Kids have to write an essay or something to get into the club. Then they learn to ride the unicycles. Then they learn to ride them in circles and stuff. Then they learn to ride while waving tiny American flags. Then they ride at half-time shows somewhere.
So Le gave us a couple of good puns, then couldn’t resist trying a bike for himself. The pudgy clown apparently has no sense of balance – two bouncers had to hold him as Le held the bike to his crotch and pretended to try and ride. It was pretty frickin’ funny. I love it when Le pimps himself like this. Made my night.
Category: Asheville News